Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Latest Trend-Footwear Missiles

Two days back in TOI, I saw a classic cartoon by our R.K.Lakshman which showed a politician with a bandaged forehead and Common man commenting on him ”He wants everyone to think he is a VIP and saying that he was hit by a shoe in the meeting. That is a lie-he was hit with a stone at the meeting” :-))) what a superb timing?
This cartoon has triggered me to drive my imagination cells to frenzy and result is- this post.
First let me narrate the flashback…
The shoe hurling bug has bitten the people after a journalist hurled shoe at ex Dubya.
The first Indian to get this award was our own PC.These first two cases were done as a mark of protest against authority.
But these protestors have completely mistaken our Indian Janta which is always craving for publicity and its related stunts.:-))
After these hurls, Indians are so excited about this hurling ceremony. And their love for cricket helps them throw the footwear perfectly with lots of variations like spins and swings.;-) Recently BJP’s LKA was hit by a slipper in an election rally. Congress’s Navin was hit with a sandal by a retired teacher. Yesterday was actor Jeetendra’s turn to receive the blessings. Cautioned Modi addressed a rally with a protective net .;-) .If he would have read this post before he wouldn't have opted for the net.He would have happily accepted one footwear missile.

While reading these news bits my brain also overworked to invent some ideas and suggestions for our wannabe celebrities who would like to get immediate media coverage. So,what follows is my complete wild imagination...
This is election time man! No body wants to lag behind. Even our seasoned politicians desperately pray for a footwear hit. They have promised huge offerings in Temples and to their favorite deities if they get a footwear hit. Paparazzi is just waiting impatiently to cover every single throw.If you are lucky enough to get hit by a shoe,instant photos will be flashed and you will hog the limelight for a day. Who will miss this opportunity in such a crucial time?
Not to get disappointed if nobody hurls shoe on them, many intelligent politicians have made arrangements on their own.
Aaluji has ordered his party men to throw a chappal in a shape of a train, so it will remain in people’s mind permanently and remind them of his seva to janta when he was in Railways ministry.

Caruna wants his kazhagam brethren to throw a chappal of Yellow color which will bring him luck. Not only that ,he has given strict orders to them to recite some of his poems while throwing ,so that people will understand his fondness to literature.

Java(All names changed to protect their identity!!!;-)) doesn’t want to be left far behind. She has given permission to her cadres to buy a pair of new sandals, wash it with bisleri water, soak it well in Rosewater and throw it on her along with some flowers and after that thrower should do a sashtanga namaskar.

Saniyaji who is hell-bent on improving her HAND’s Fortune also has expressed her wish to get hit by footwear but has insisted on a Pizza Topping/Pasta as a covering for the Footwear.

Everybody wants to get hit with footwear to boost their social status. It has become a status symbol.
So actors and actresses are also trying very hard to get at least a single hit.
Our Bollywood bimbette Rakhi Sawant is very keen on using this technique to boost her waning career. She has asked one of her boyfriends ;-)to hurl footwear wrapped with a bikini;-) That will be great for our news starved news channels. Whole day they will zoom the same scene thousand times and irritate pathetic viewers like me. :-(

In a village, when a farmer bent to mend his Hawaii slipper strings and got up after pinning them,he was shocked to see a big queue of politicians and celebrities waiting for him to hurl his slipper on them. They thought that farmer was taking his slippers to hurl it at somebody.Poor chap who was unaware of this latest trend hurried back disappointing the whole crowd.:-(

Seeing this demand for footwear throwers a shrewd politician is planning to introduce a branch in Engineering “Footwear Throwing Technology” in one of his educational institutions for crazy and desperate parents who are keen in putting their wards in an Engineering course even if they get 50%.
Two IT employees who were laid off by their companies due to recession have started a company “Anonymous Footwear Throwing Company” Which takes Contract to throw all types of footwear ranging from designer to dirty shoes, price range vary accordingly. Already number of party hopping socialites have registered their names in this company to get a hit so that they can elevate their status ranking as a VIP.;-)))
Don’t be surprised if this company beats the recession and posts a high profit..
Huh.. Full stop to my imagination now;-)) ! CU in next post!


Prasanna's Pen Speaks ... said...

very funny post padma...polticians get their election seats only if they declarethat they get thi s much of seruppadi... instead of ponnadai in all function seuppu can be given to all thalaivars... Barkha duth is waiting near Bata company for live coverage of chap purchase by pasamigu thondars...spl sponsorship is given to all shoe companies...

Padma said...

Prasanna thank u!actually i missed this point ,increase in chappal sales.thank u for reminding me!:-))

Ravishankar said...

If same trend continues politicians can follow
1)Provide shoe stand at entrance of meeting, if does not want to get hit.
2)Provide new shoe shop in entrance of meeting if he wants to get hit.
3)The politician who collects maximum number of shoes can be awarded as BEST SHOE CATCHER
4)He can also make money by auctioning it.

Padma said...

Thank u ravi for ur first direct comment ,otherwise it is always like a missile;-)))which has always missed the target:-))

RAMKI said...

in hindu last week i saw a cartoon in election page.a shoe shop salesman telling his customer sir this is use and throw model tjis is in grate demand......dont comment politicians by name.

Raja said...

Padma..funny post..I am not following the Indian shoe incidents closely..your post really helped me catch up with the shoe news..Soon you will start seeing people without shoes, standing behind politicians as wicket keepers to grab one for free!
I saw PC's dodge and the school teacher's throw in BBC news..guess BBC realized the rest is not worth publishing!
It all started in Iraq, when "Pudhar"(Tamilzhakam) dodged the shoe from a journalist.

Padma said...

hi raja thank u for ur comment.actually i dont know the first incident which u mentioned.i know only that Dubya incident..:-))
RKLakshmanan's cartoon only triggered tp write this post ;-)))

Padma said...

Appa !dont worry!i ve changed the names :-))))

KRISH said...

good imagination in the second half. will this cheppal throwing culture get atleast one vote to the vip nowadays people are not cheated by this cheap commody. a wise voter should grab all the political offers like ur ben , bcos they are just returning a very small amount swindled by them. vote to your conscience and to a candidate who will do good to us. ( a bit serious) i have got 3 or 4 pairs of worn cheppals ready to part for a good offer.

Nandakumar said...

Good imagination Padma - Soon u can see events like this.

"Narpatthi ettavathu vattam sarbaaga annanukku intha palaya seruppu santhana seruppaga visappadugirathu" and there will be long queue waiting with chappals from each vattam.

For big leaders there will b 'aal uyara seruupu'

T.Rajendar will say like this.

"Aaha vilunthathu seruupu
Athoda kalar karuppu
Vegathu un paruppu
Un nadayathaan thiruppu"

Fifteen days election rally is wasted by T.N politicians since they did not catch this seruppu sangathi.

Good Padma.

Padma said...

thank u SVK for ur comments.whether footwear hit will bring them vote or not ,they will give lots of publicity ;-)))please keep ur worn out chappals safe..they may be of good demand in future:-))))

Padma said...

Thank u kumar chittap for ur comments.ur poem on behalf of T.Rajendar;-)) is great!i think our politicians should make elections little more entertaining by adopting new methods like this;-)))

RAMKI said...

padma i read in dinamalar in north they have put a bommai as in agri fields and asked villagers to take training indifferent angles and distances.they are not happy so far all the throws are wasted cos non has hit the target.may have taken training from our erstwhile cricket players.

rajendra said...

The way the comments are floating, looks like next time I go to by chappals the salesman is not going to ask me to wear it & walk. Instead he would ask me to check the hand grip & see the accracy of the throw. Instead of a mirror there would be target boards.